


Summer Mourning

by ElenCelebrindal



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, M/M, Ryoga and Rio are called Nash and Merag, Sad and Happy, Talking, mentioned relationships, the Barians are background characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 16:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19977289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElenCelebrindal/pseuds/ElenCelebrindal
Summary: For a couple of minutes the room stayed silent, only the sporadic singing of birds to be heard. Then, Merag gathered her resolution and decided to face the issue that was bothering her.«Hey, Nash?».He raised an eyebrow, surprised by the sudden change in his sister’s tone of voice. It dropped, from high and cheerful to incredibly low and quiet.Not something his sister was really known for, aside from when she used to threaten her classmates.«Yeah?».«This might come out of the blue, but… have you ever thought about, you know. Kids?».





	Summer Mourning

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know, I had this in one of my folders. I'm pretty sure I originally wrote it while waiting for my train, and then dumped it away before I could revise it.   
> Well, after reading it, I decided to clean some mistakes here and there and post it. It's not beta'd, so it's highly probable something slipped from my proofreading, but better than posting it blindly. 
> 
> Rated T because of delicate issues discussed by Nash and Merag.

Bored out of his mind, Nash plopped down on the couch in the living room of the mansion and reached for the remote, buried under a couple of pillows. He turned the TV on and flicked through the channels, trying to find something interesting to watch. With no positive results.  
Only a handful of channel broadcasted something different than news and awful summer movies, but Nash had already seen at least half of those programs and the other half wasn’t good enough to watch.  
Sighing, the man turned the TV off and glanced at a book resting on the coffee table, probably left there by Durbe.   
Half curious, half not knowing what to do, Nash leaned forward and picked it up, only briefly reading the title before opening the first page. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, just a simple history book, but better than doing nothing.   
Nash hated those slow days, when he had absolutely nothing better to do than waiting around for Yuma or the Barians to come home. And Yuma wasn’t coming home anytime soon, seeing he was off to another exploration alongside Michael.   
Normally, he would spend time by playing his bass, but the instrument was back home, as he forgot to bring it with him to the mansion.   
So, a slow day with no distractions.   
His phone was incredibly silent too, with no new notifications or e-mails to read, so Nash settled down and started reading the book. If anything just to distract himself from the hot weather that made his shirt stick uncomfortably to his skin.

After an hour or so, Nash was distracted from his reading by the front door opening and closing. Perplexed, he shot a glance to the clock and frowned; it was too early for anyone to be back home, it wasn’t even noon yet.   
He was about to stand up and check who just got back, when Merag appeared through the door.   
«Merag? What are you doing here?».  
She was living in a completely different part of the city, by now. And she knew no one was in the mansion at that hour. Well, except from Nash, but he wasn’t living there anymore either.

Merag raised an eyebrow in her brother’s direction: «You know, I could ask you the same question», she retorted. «But I know Yuma is out on one of his quests, so it’s obvious why you’re here».  
Dropping her bag on the coffee table, Merag sat down beside Nash and reached for the air conditioning unit’s remote, turning it up a notch: «It’s so hot in here, are you even bothering with this thing?», she waved the device in front of his face.

Nash scoffed: «Oh, come on. It’s not that hot», he replied, although he was sweating a bit. He just didn’t want to interrupt his reading, the book was surprisingly interesting.   
«You haven’t answered me, though», he said then, looking at his sister. «I thought you had free time to spend with Thomas, this week».

«Yeah, but something came up and Thomas had to fly off and reach Chris in the arctic area. He’s having problems with the new Interdimensional Teleporter», she explained, not without a faint hint of bitterness.   
Her job didn’t have a constricting schedule, but taking an entire week off for nothing was still a bit of a bummer. However, with Michael off with Yuma and Kite too overwhelmed by his researches, Thomas was the only one available to help.   
And Merag couldn’t really blame him for caring about his brother no less than he cared for her.

«So he’s really trying to rebuilt that thing».   
Amazed, Nash closed the book (careful not to drop Durbe’s bookmark) and placed it back on the coffee table: «I didn’t think he would do it. We don’t even need a portal to the Astral World, and he’s still rebuilding it. Yuma would be so happy if it works».  
Since the last call for help that came from the Astral World, no one of them actively tried again to reach it. Also, it was impossible to open a portal towards the Astral World without Eliphas or Astral’s intervention.   
«Do you want something to drink? I think there’s still a bottle of iced tea in the fridge», Nash suggested, getting up from the couch to stretch.

Merag nodded: «I was just about to ask if the guys had left something».

As always since Merag and Nash left the mansion, the kitchen was kind of in a disarray state. Plates and cups occupied the sink, and leftovers from someone’s breakfast (probably Vector, he never lift a finger to help) lingered on the table.   
Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Nash wiped the table with a napkin and threw it in the nearby trash can, eyeing the fridge. He hadn’t opened it yet, relying only on takeout food for two days, and was legit scared of doing so.   
Surprisingly, though, the fridge was clean. Unsurprisingly, there was close to nothing in it, save for a couple containers labeled “Durbe – don’t eat” in Barian glyphs, some meat, a couple cans of beer and the bottle of tea Nash was looking for.   
«Would it really kill them to buy groceries at least once a week? I don’t know how they live», the man commented, slamming the fridge door with his hip as he turned around. He placed the bottle on the table and grabbed two glasses from the cupboard, the last miraculously clean. All the other ones were piled on top of the plates in the sink.

«I think you should install a dishwasher. At least they’ll be less lazy about doing the dishes», Merag laughed, raising the now full glass to her lips to take a sip. The drink was pleasantly refreshing, with strong accents of mint and lemon in it. «I thought you told them to upgrade whatever they wanted, before leaving».

«Yeah, I did», Nash shrugged, screwing the lid back on the bottle. «But the only one that does something in here is Durbe, and he doesn’t mind the lack of technology».  
The other Barians only sporadically helped or did chores, and most of the times because Nash or Merag scowled at them or threatened to throw them out. It wasn’t a hollow threat, though. Vector passed an entire week trapped in the Barian World after Nash kicked him out, before being allowed back in the mansion.   
«So – Nash cleared his throat – how’s the married life?».

Merag smiled, a small puff of air escaping her nostrils: «Not as I expected», she answered. «Things are fairly similar to what they were last month, I just have a gold ring on my finger and a brand new house».

«It’s quite the change of scenery, isn’t it? Moving away from the mansion. I’d say so for myself». And it was true. Despite having lived in an old and crusty apartment in his teenage years, too scared and scarred to come back to the mansion, the house he bought after marrying Yuma turned upside down his bearings completely. The mansion, he was accustomed to. The Barians roaming around at every given hour were a staple in his everyday life.   
Moving opened an entire new world for Nash, one in which he could be as affectionate as he wanted with Yuma without worrying about someone coming in, in which he could be himself and not be ashamed about it.   
It was only them, a weird void of voiceless hallways and rooms, a pleasant compromise to start a good life together. Nash had needed a bit of time to get accustomed to the newfound silence and solitude, to the absence of Vector rummaging the kitchen for food, the quiet nights without Alito blaring his videogames at three in the morning.   
It was nice.

«It’s been weird, at first», she admitted. «I was so used to all of you just being there with me».  
Admittedly, it was much nicer without chaos ensuing every three seconds, but bizarre nonetheless.   
«How’s yours going, uh? You seem so much happier than what you showed last year», Merag then asked, truly curious. She never snooped in her brother’s life that much, even less after he got married to Yuma just a little more than a year before, but he really was happier.

Nash blew out a laugh, placing the empty glass down on the table: «Is that so? I don’t see it».   
…Liar.   
He saw the difference, noticed it every day in front of the mirror. His undying scowl gradually subsided, giving place to a much softer resting expression that didn’t shout “I’m going to murder you” to everyone staring.   
«Yeah, you’re right», he conceded. «I’m lucky to have Yuma. He successfully changed a grumpy ass teenager in a reasonable adult. Quite the challenge».  
Life changed so much, since their marriage. Sure, they still did the same exact things, only with a little more privacy and enjoyment to it, but Nash not only fully succeeded in embracing his Barian nature, but also learned how to be more lenient, and patient.   
Still living with the Barians, Nash never cared too much about what Yuma was trying to teach him, but living alone with the man, now his husband, was a completely different approach.

For a couple of minutes the room stayed silent, only the sporadic singing of birds to be heard. Then, Merag gathered her resolution and decided to face the issue that was bothering her.   
«Hey, Nash?».

He raised an eyebrow, surprised by the sudden change in his sister’s tone of voice. It dropped, from high and cheerful to incredibly low and quiet.   
Not something his sister was really known for, aside from when she used to threaten her classmates.  
«Yeah?».

«This might come out of the blue, but… have you ever thought about, you know. Kids?».

Confused, Nash displayed an interrogative frown: «Why are you asking?», he asked back, instead of answering. Sure, they were both fully fledged adults with their own lives, but it seemed too soon for a question like that. Even for someone as caring as Merag.   
But then again, he didn’t know his sister that well, regarding some topics. He was too scared to ask, sometimes.

In response, she shrugged: «I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it. I figured I could ask you». Merag the sighed, lowering her head: «Is it bad?».

Nash quickly shook his head. He didn’t want to give her that impression, that would have been disgustingly selfish of him. «No, absolutely not. You just… caught me off guard», he said. «I never imagined you would have wanted kids so soon. I mean, you married Thomas a few weeks ago».  
Not that it was something Nash didn’t want his sister to decide. He had to stop being the overprotective brother he was after she started dating his best friend. She never interfered with his love life, after all.   
Still, it _was_ kind of weird, imagining Merag as a mother.

Merag smiled, recalling the day. They were both dressed in white, she and Thomas, and Nash cried so much Yuma had to carry him away from the reception to let him regain his bearings. Merag discovered how emotional his brother had been only after coming back from her honeymoon, a long and delightful week down in the islands where in her past life she had been a princess and a priestess.   
She never picked on him for that, though. She cried joyful tears as well, the day Nash and Yuma exchanged their wedding rings.   
«I’ve been thinking about it for a while, now, and Thomas is okay with it», she said. The conversation had been fairly brief and painless, seeing Thomas wanted to start a family of his own, but there was one problem still lingering around.

«But…?».  
She was stalling, Nash could tell. Merag wasn’t one to stay silent in the middle of a conversation she wanted to start, and that pause could only mean she was worried about something. Then, it clicked into place, right when Merag spoke again.

«What if I _can’t_ have children?».  
That thought alone made Merag’s heart tighten, as she assembled enough determination to keep the conversation going. «I’m a Barian like you, and you aren’t…».   
Unable to go on, Merag took a deep breath and sighed, shaking her head: «If I’m like you, that means I can’t get pregnant», she ultimately said.   
That issue nibbled at her mind more often than not, reminding the woman of how volatile and unstable her human form was.   
She never actually gave that much importance to it, not until she started thinking about family. And then, remembering some tests Nash took out of curiosity, realization crashed onto her.   
«If all the Barian Emperor are the same…».

Nash reached out and grabbed her hand, stopping her fingers from tapping nervously on the table: «You can always adopt. I know, it’s not the same, but you don’t have to give up on kids. Even if you’re like me, you always have a second choice. Don’t underestimate that», he tried to comfort her.   
He knew that such eventuality might be possible, but never thought about how much it could hurt. When Nash discovered he was actually sterile, he didn’t blame it immediately on his Barian nature. Sure, Barians didn’t reproduce in any way, shape or form, but the man just brushed off the issue as something personal. He didn’t care too much, he certainly wasn’t going to get someone pregnant anyways, being gay and all.   
But now, listening to Merag, the thought that maybe it could be a shared condition between the Barians started to grow roots.   
«Take some tests», he suggested her. «Don’t find out by trying».   
He couldn’t think of anything else to say, there and then. Maybe all of them needed to do the same, just to know.

«But what if I…».

Feeling uncertainty in her voice, Nash tightened his grip on her hand and curved his lips in a faint smile: «You would be a wonderful mother, Merag», he cut her off. «I can’t even imagine how devastating it would be for you, if… Listen, whatever the case, you’ll be amazing okay? Stop worrying so much».

She managed to show a smile at that: «You’re strangely accommodating for being you», she replied. Maybe it wasn’t that bad, she did have another choice after all.   
But still… thinking her nature could have robbed her of the possibility to create a new life was rough.  
«What about you, Nash? I can’t believe you never thought about it», Merag then asked, after a small pause.

At that, Nash frowned, his mood suddenly dropping following the motion of his hand, now lying flat on the table.  
He _did_ think about it, for days in a row sometimes. So much his brain complained about the lack of different topics to examine. Every time he would see some kid running around or pulling their mother’s hand, Nash thought about it.   
Outside in a park, in a mall, in a public swimming pool, when he passed a school. Kids always put a smile on his face, with their energy and their running around happy and without a worry in the world.  
But it wasn’t easy.   
«I would love to», he answered, his voice reduced to a mere whisper. «But I… I’m not ready. Not after…».

«Not after Iris?».

Nash nodded, tears prickling his eyes. He couldn’t help it. The memory of that sweet child, so kind and lovingly, so reminiscent of his sister, always came back followed by waves of pain and guilt. For the brief time he protected her, she’d been his sister lost to the waves, a daughter for a soul way too young to have one, the only shining light in a world plummeted into darkness.   
The day they found her, alone and crying between the rubble of collapsed building and stiff corpses, she lit up and smiled, jumping in Nash’s arms to get a hug she so much wanted.   
Gods, she was too young…  
«She was so happy, when we rescued her. I cared about her, loved her with all I could give. I still remember how she would pick those few flowers still alive and put them in my hair like I was part of his family».  
Tears trickled down his face, unstopped, guided by agonizing memories: «And then she died. I tried to save her, but she died in my arms. She was so gentle, Merag… she didn’t deserved what I made happen».  
Drowned by guilt, Nash hid his face behind his hands and leaned forward on the table: «I tried, I tried with all I had, and I failed».

«Nash…».

He ignored his sister’s concerned voice, lowering his hands and turning his head to the side: «I’m scared. I’m too scared something like that could happen again», he said. A quite improbable situation, given the setting, but there was always someone trying to come for his skin. He couldn’t expose a child to a danger like that. Not again.   
«I’m not ready», he repeated, clawing at the wood surface with blunt nails. «Maybe I’ll never be».   
After a brief moment of silence, Nash wiped the tears from his face and lowered his gaze: «Yuma deserved better».

Scowling, Merag barely refrained herself from slapping her brother: «Don’t say that. And don’t underestimate Yuma, he understands better than you could possibly hope». Then, she sighed: «I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought this up. Now we’re both sad».

Nash snorted a weak laugh: «It’s okay. I’m still happy to know you want a family, you didn’t completely ruin the mood».  
Forcing his shit back together, the man sniffed a couple of times and then got up to put their glasses in the already full sink. The Barians could wash them, if they decided it was time to stop eating from improvised plates. The mansion was still Nash’s property, even though public authorities didn’t know it. For all Heartland knew, the mansion was now property of the ones who inhabited it.   
Kite often liked to remind him that was an outright fraud, but Nash already had his fair share of problems with being the leader of six other Barian Emperors. He didn’t need more stuff to care about in the Human World.   
«Now that I think about it, did you have fun on your honeymoon? And please, spare me the details», he added, snatching a genuine laugh from Merag. Gods, the last thing he wanted to know was Thomas in any setting beside dueling and everyday chatting.   
Luckily, though, Merag wasn’t like Mizael, who once blurted out a whole speech about Durbe in bed. Nash still shivered at the thought.

«It’s been good. I mean, the kingdom has long disappeared, but some vibes are still there. That place is amazing, all things considered», she replied, her mood lightened a bit. «Sure, I did _die_ in that place, but I think you should plan a vacation there».

«Wow, worst kind of advertisement ever», Nash remarked, sitting back down at the table. They could go back in the living room, but the kitchen had big open windows and no uncomfortably sticky couches. «I have to suggest it to Yuma, though. I’ve never been back there, not even during our hunt for the Mithirian Numbers».  
Their ones, indeed, were hidden away at the center of the labyrinth where Nash fought Vector, not back at their kingdom. Which, according to subsequent recollecting, was a really weird thing. All the other Mithirian Numbers, save for Girag’s and Mizael, where in places strongly connected to their owners, like the coliseum look-alike for Alito, or Vector’s palace. Mizael’s Number wasn’t in the same place he lived just because he didn’t actually have a house, and Jinlon couldn’t protect it out in the open. As for Girag, well… the statue was actually moved from its original collocation, so technically the Number was in its original place.   
«What were we talking about? I think I’ve lost you».

Merag shook her head, disbelieved: «I can’t believe _you_ got to be the leader of us Barian Emperors. Not even capable of following a discussion», she mocked him, swatting away strands of hair fallen on her face.  
They kept on talking for a couple hours, waiting for the others to return. Nash sat there with a huge smile on his face as Merag told the tale of her honeymoon, of how Thomas nearly got them lost with his map-reading skills, of seagulls and waves and a beautiful sun.   
It was only when Vector came home, normally the first one to leave his workplace, that Merag glanced at the clock and decided it had gotten late.   
«Well, I have to go. It’s been nice talking to you, like… quietly», she huffed out a faint laugh.

On his side, Nash got up from the chair, glared at Vector (who was searching who knew what in an empty fridge) and hugged his sister: «Same here. You didn’t even yelled at me, today. That’s a first».  
With a small smile curling his lips, Nash followed her to the door and pocketed his hands: «Let me know, okay?».

She nodded: «You will be the first I’ll call. Well, after Thomas, that is».   
After yelling a goodbye to Vector – to which he responded with a “bye” and “next time bring some food” – Merag stepped out the door and gazed at Nash one last time: «Take care, uh?».  
With that, she turned her back to him and walked down the path, towards her car parked outside the gate.

Nash waited until she disappeared on the street, then he closed the door and headed back to the living room. He picked Durbe’s book and resumed his reading, with one more worry on his mind, but one less day until Yuma would be back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> If you want, reviews and kudos are always welcome. 
> 
> See you in the next one.


End file.
